Rkka - music for nothing

I’m pretty introspective and knowledgeable of how people work, so I understand why I’m depressed but nothing will get me out of my bed to work hard consistently. I’ve wanted to be a creator of sorts for as long as I can remember, and starting when I was 12 I wanted to be an animator, something I didn’t take seriously until I was 14. I improved a bit at art, but I took major breaks due to the other garbage in my life. I describe it as I’m lying in bed and the world around me is burning and I can move, but I won’t. Then in grace periods, when I have a glimpse of happiness with my life, it’s the ashes that need to be cleaned up and when I get up to do it I get angry at myself that I’ve failed, and I haven’t worked hard enough. When I was 15 I drew each day for 4-5 straight months and then my little sister got shady news about her tumor, I fucked up in school again, a dog I grew up with died, etc. My depression runs infinitely and there’s not much I feel a therapist can do, and anti depressants are completely out of the realm of possibility for me, due to the effects.

RKKA - Music For NothingRKKA - Music For NothingRKKA - Music For NothingRKKA - Music For Nothing